Cherry Gathering
by slytherinslut13
Summary: Because sometimes, parents aren't really that supportive of a bordering-on-pedophilia relationship. Fun little one-shot.


"Mum, is it okay if I bring someone home for dinner tonight?" Hermione bit her lip and crossed her fingers.

"Sure, who is it? Ginny?" Her mum's voice sounded crackly over the phone.

"Um, not exactly." Hermione hedged.

"Oh? Is it a guy?" Her mother's voice sounded teasing.

"Yeah. So, is it okay?"

"Who is it?"

"My… inamorata." Hermione frowned, trying to find the correct term for him. Boyfriend just sounded too childish to describe him.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "I'll hide your father's shotgun."

Hermione grinned broadly. "Thanks, Mum. I'll see you at six, then!"

"Bye, sweetie." Hermione hung up and smiled at the man behind her.

"They're allowing it." Severus had apparently heard the conversation.

"Yeah."

* * *

"Dad!" Hermione struggled to get out of her father's constricting embrace.

"Mione! It's been so long. You need to come home more"

"We saw each other last week." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"So, dear, who is this mystery man?" Mrs. Granger asked, smiling politely at the looming figure in the doorway.

"Right." Hermione pulled Severus into the house. "Mum, Dad, this is Severus. Severus Snape." Her parents adopted strained smiles.

"Hermione, will you help me prepare dinner?" It was more of an order than a question. Hermione smiled pityingly at Severus as she left the hallway.

"So," Mr. Granger's jovial smile disappeared with Hermione as he turned to face Severus. Severus arched one eyebrow, refusing to be talked to like a common boyfriend.

"What do you do for a living?" Mr. Granger asked.

"I teach Potions in one of the best magical academies in the world." Severus drawled, his eyebrow still hovering a good two centimeters above his eye.

"Hmph." Mr. Granger snorted. "You taught my girl, didn't you?"

"If you mean Hermione, then yes, she was once my student."

"How old are you?" Mr. Granger leaned a bit closer to Severus, trying to intimidate him.

"Forty… no. Forty-one now." Severus said.

Mr. Granger's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Forty…"

"One, yes. I don't particularly like to repeat myself." Severus snarked, enjoying the vein that was beating in his lover's father's head.

"And what are your designs on my little Hermione? Hmm? Or is she just some arm-candy for you?" Mr. Granger demanded.

"I… do plan to spend the majority of my life with her." Severus answered carefully.

"But?" Mr. Granger scowled, nearly matching Severus' own infamous glares.

"There is no but." Severus challenged.

"So you're going to marry her?"

"Ah… well,"

Mrs. Granger and Hermione had been preparing some salad in tense silence when they heard a bellow from the other room.

"WHAT?"

"That sounds like Dad." Hermione sighed as her mother stared at the door in surprise. Her father came barging in a few seconds later, glaring and grumbling.

"Hermione!" He yelled. Hermione plastered a smile on her face and turned to face him.

"Yes, dad?"

"This… this… _man_ is trying to take advantage of you!" He howled, pointing a finger through the door, presumably at Severus.

"Succeeding, actually." Hermione mumbled under her breath. Her mother shot her a sharp look.

"What do you mean, dear?" Mrs. Granger turned back to her husband.  
"He's not gonna make our little girl an honest woman!" For a forty two year old man, he sounded remarkably like a four year old.

"Dad, first of all, that doesn't even make sense, and second, what if I don't want to be an honest woman?" Hermione snipped, glaring at her father over the bowl of salad in her hands.

There was a ringing silence in the kitchen.

"Pardon?" her mother finally asked.

"You heard me."

"You're saying," Mr. Granger's face was turning a dangerous red. "That you want to live your life in sin with a man twenty years your senior?"

"Well, only if he wants to live his life in sin with a woman twenty years his junior." Hermione smiled at Severus, who had just appeared in the doorway.

"Naturally." He said, smirking, as a vein throbbed in Mr. Granger's head.

"Dinner?" Mrs. Granger smiled wildly, hoping to keep her husband from a heart attack.

"Yes, let's." Hermione slammed the salad on the table. The next hour was very tense, with the sound knives and forks scraping their plates ringing out in otherwise silent kitchen.

"So, Hermione, how has your job been?" Mrs. Granger asked tersely.

"Very good."

"What's new in it?"

"Mum, you know I can't tell you. It's in the name: Un_speakable_. How many times—" Hermione rolled her eyes at her mother.

"Sorry, dear, I keep forgetting. Anything else new going on?"

"No, not really. Just Severus." Hermione said, carefully cutting her chicken into smaller bits.

"Hmm." Silence fell again.

Half an hour later, Hermione got up to put the dishes in the sink. Her mom followed her.

"Dear, are you sure this is what you want?" Mrs. Granger asked in an undertone.

"Yes, Mum."

"Are you really sure? He is only a year younger than your father." Mrs. Granger quietly reminded her daughter.

"I know. I'm still going to date him."

"Honey, I just think that you should reconsider. He was your teacher, for Heaven's sake!"

"I know, Mum." Hermione deadpanned back.

"Well, what about that nice red-haired boy, Rick, wasn't it?" Her mother's voice was still hushed.

"He's married to one of my old room mates. And it's Ron." Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Well, what about Harry? He seems like a nice boy, saved the world and all."

"He's married to my best friend. An Neville is married, too, before you go there." Hermione dried the dish with a bit more force than necessary.

"What about that boy, Dragon? Maybe he just had a crush on you."

"Mum! I am not, I repeat NOT, going to go out with Draco Malfoy!" Hermione cried, dropping her dish.

"See, you like him. It's obvious!"

"Severus!" Hermione stormed through the door.

"Yes?" Severus was sitting across from Mr. Granger, who was glaring at the apparently at ease Severus.

"We are going home and we are going to shag until I'm blue." Hermione glared at her Severus, daring him to argue.

"Gladly." One of his eyebrows cocked up as he gathered her in his arms.

"Draco Malfoy?" He breathed in her ear as he spun. Hermione simply shook her head, giggling.


End file.
